Hey, you. Merry Christmas.
I think I might be watching a cow choking on sand. Not choking in the, I’m gonna die kind of way, but more like, that was a really big spoonful of peanut butter, kind of way. There are cows on the beach in Goa. Does-Not-Compute. I have yet to see a cow pie though, so that’s a good sign. The beach dogs here are all well fed, food snobs (except for one I saw tasting someone’s book). I offered one a French fry last night and he buried it in the sand. He was holding out for my calamari. I obliged. As soon as I cleaned my plate he was gone. Where’s the loyalty in this man’s-best-friend equation? It’s OK, they’re all super cute, and clean, and healthy, which I haven’t really seen in India, aside from in Udaipur where there’s an organization that helps street animals. The other day when I was trudging up and down the beach trying to find a place I saw a dog sitting in the shallow end of the waves, cooling off. I was so jealous, calamari, and cool waves in the sunshine, everyday of your life. Not bad.
The road to get here was treacherous. (Well, not really, but it was slightly uncomfortable. I have to try to make this sensational to hold your interest.) I booked a sleeper bus to get from Mumbai to Goa. They way they have it set up is there are single sleepers, and then double sleepers, for couples, or families, or people traveling together. When I was at the booking office the agent started booking me in a double, and I was like, Wait… you mean you’re putting me in a tiny cabin to spend fifteen hours overnight, probably next to a man, who can reach over and touch me if the mood strikes? And he was like, Yes. And I was like, No. He said I could buy a more expensive seat on an AC bus, or there was one single at the back of this bus, and he would give me that one. I asked three times, was he positive I would certainly get that seat because there was no way I was sleeping in a private, four foot wide cabin, next to a random man, in a country where men have been unabashedly molesting me in public places. He said he was sure. When I showed up to claim my seat the drunken man managing the tickets informed me that it was a double bed, and his drunken friend confirmed it. Then when the big boss showed up, he screamed at me that he didn’t care what the booking agent told me I was not getting a refund for the ticket. Well, damn. After much fraught deliberation, I decided I would throw away the fifteen dollars in lieu of possibly being sexually harassed for hours.
Luckily there were guys on the street selling tickets for other busses to Goa, and more luck, there were single sleepers available. The way tickets work here is the cheapest are without AC and then they get more expensive from there. I always buy the cheapest tickets, but this time I only had the option of getting a higher priced AC ticket, and the difference was major. The bus driver didn’t honk at every shadow or leaf blowing in the street. The sheets were clean(ish). The attendants were sober. They didn’t scream out the stop names, they came around to tell you personally. Dang. Now that I’ve had a taste of the good life I don’t know if I can go back. The only minus I found was that the pillows had a layer of plastic under the pillow case, so it felt like you were sleeping on a bag of chips.
In the end I’m glad I decided to buy the other ticket, but it was a big deal for me to decide to do it. Worrying about every penny is an infectious disease, and it gets to the point where it’s actually counterproductive, (this bus situation is one example) especially in places where the price of everything is negotiable and determined almost fully by the mood and disposition of the vendor. Penny pinching is common amongst long-term travelers. Sooner or later it gets to the point where no price, no matter how small, is ever cheap enough, and you never feel like you can trust anyone. You feel like the whole world exists only to dupe you, and then laugh about it, it’s all one big inside joke, at your expense.
For example, after negotiating the price of the second bus ticket, I paid the guy and he said, The bus is coming now, and pointed to where it would arrive. I sat around for an hour and no bus came. I realized I had just handed some random guy on the street twenty bucks and all he did was give me a piece of paper in return. I walked around and found him, so at least he hadn’t split. That seemed like a good sign, but every time I asked about the bus the time would change, 15 more minutes. 10 more minutes. It’s coming at 6:00. It’s coming at 6:30. 15 more minutes. I was starting to feel worried that at six the guy would just disappear and I’d be standing on a street in Mumbai with all my bags and nowhere to go. He said the name of my bus was Dolphin. I overheard some of the other guys asking what bus I was waiting for, and the guy told them Dolphin, and they were all like, Oh, ok. I used this to reassure myself that the bus did exist. Then some more time went on and I was able to convince myself that Dolphin was code for, I just took her money and gave her a piece of paper. Finally after two and a half hours of waiting, I saw the guy disappear onto another bus. I followed him and told him I wanted my money back. He frantically got on his cell phone, speaking in Hindi, but was saying cancellation over and over. He made me follow him, walking quickly around the corner and out into traffic. He flagged down an oncoming bus with the word Dolphin painted across the front, and put me on it. I’m certain he was glad to be rid of me. My New Year resolution is; be frugal, but don’t be a maniac about it. Sometimes you just gotta spend the money, and decide to trust people, or you can turn yourself into a paranoid fool.
I spent the money, the bus made it, I was not molested, and I’ve been nonstop beach lounging ever since. Historically I have not been much of a beach bum. I think I went only five times my whole nine years in LA, but I’m here in Goa, and the dogs do it, and the cows do it, so I’m getting in on the action too. I’ve made a little routine for myself. I found my Internet spot where I go have breakfast and make time to chat with you all. I mess around until the sun is ready and then I go set myself up with water, sunblock, my book, and money for the fruit guy that comes around with coconuts, pineapples, and papayas on his head. I roll around in different positions hoping to optimize my tan. I think this is a talent I have yet to cultivate. All the Russians here seem to know what to do. When I get too hot I go cover myself in the Arabian Sea, then come back and set myself out to dry, repeat this a few times, then go take a cold shower and get back to the beach while the sun is setting and walk around, then have some dinner. How’s that sound?
Nighttime on the beach is the best part of the day. All the restaurants have pulled in their beach chairs and set up candlelit tables in front of the waves. They’ve also started bonfires and are grilling up fresh seafood. Cows are wandering around sampling from the plates on people’s tables. The dogs that dug holes under people’s beach chairs during the day, to nap in the shade, are up and playing around with puppies and passersby. The air smells good, the breeze is gentle, and the light is soft. Each beach shack has it’s own music playing so you get a strange mix of Christmas music, trance, and eighties cover bands. I can dig it.
So, that’s that, in this moment. The focus is on laziness and not letting the lunacy of the monetary system warp my brain. What about you? Are you eating pie, and mashed potatoes, and turkey, and ham, and stuff? Are you opening presents? Are you protesting materialism and sitting in an empty room with unpainted walls, wearing only a bed sheet? Whatever it is that you’ve set your mind to, I hope you’re able give it your full attention, and allow it feel like it’s just what you should be doing. Right now I’m eating pizza and talking with you, and I know with every fiber of my body that I’m right where I’m supposed to be, and it’s good. Kiss your family for me, kiss yourself for me, give the dog and the cat a little pat, and have a wonderful day.
Brak komentarzy:
Prześlij komentarz